Tara & Jill: Why More Girls Should Date Gamers
Tara & Jill is a weekly column by Zaxy bloggers Tara Miller and Jill Collette, who are all-around aficionados of everything geeky. No, they’re not unicorns, and no, we can’t give you their phone numbers (trust us, we’ve tried), but you can still kick back and read along as they explore the culture of gaming with spirited observation.
I believe that there’s a common displacement of logic between women and their dating standards. Now, I won’t get into all of the problems on women and their dating habits (don’t get me started), rather, I’m talking specifically about dating gamers.
Let me first clarify that when I say women, I’m talking about the everyday girl who paints her nails, goes out dancing with her girlfriends, talks on the phone, obsesses over twilight and does not play video games (with the exception of Nintendo Wii, sometimes) That’s not to say all girls are like that, I’m just speaking in terms of general perception.
What I can’t help but notice is the general lack of girls that give these guys a chance and get to know them past their stereotype
When I say gamers, I don’t mean the dudes who play Madden with their “bros” while smashing beer cans over their forehead after making a touchdown, or the die-hard obsessive sockers that play World of Warcraft. (Good luck with dating, guys! Not tryin’ to hate.. just sayin’) The type of gamers I’m talking about are the men who generally spend all their time playing video games every day on PC, Xbox 360, or PS3, and don’t have very many hobbies outside of their virtual worlds.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are gamers that do have girlfriends, but what I can’t help but notice is the general lack of girls that give these guys a chance and get to know them past their stereotype.
I asked a few girls for their take on why they wouldn’t want to date a gamer. Read on to find out their responses!
Girls On Gamers
Obviously this person thinks that the only people who play video games are the twins from The Matrix.
Two words: LEVELING UP!
And watching chick flicks in the dark while slurping down Diet Cokes is completely different, right?
Yeah. This coming from a sorority girl. Just wait til I get started on your stereotype girrrlfrannnn — You’ll be seeking attention on Facebook for weeks trying to boost that little self esteem of yours!
Gamers On Gamers
So then I asked a bunch of people on Facebook and Twitter for their thoughts on why more girls should date gamers!
We’re problem solvers, given our gaming skills
- acumen101
Gamers are passionate, devoted & loyal just look at all the PS3/XB360/PC MW2 fanboys lol
- Spectralraziel
I’m good with my hands
– Alexander William Chavez
We are nicer then most guys 
- Дэйв Diemert
Because we try so hard and are exteremely grateful. Also, the only cheating we do is with a Game Genie/Shark.
- Brian DeNaughel
Because she’ll have more freedom to do what she wants while I’m playing video games. Plus we become uberpassionate when we finally pass a roadblock in a game and want to celebrate
– Jorge Guzman
We can save the world get our revenge and still take you out 2 dinner. Without missing a beat. 
We are great multi taskers
- snakpakk
Aren’t most gamers really good with computers? That could come in handy. Also, they’ll have to accept your nerdish hobby
- HelenaKirstine
Jill’s take: The best time I ever had with a date was playing Team Doubles on Halo 3 with some take out and a big bag of candy. I didn’t have to get all dressed up and spend a ton of money at some club tryin’ to get my groove on (p.s. I’ve never done that before.) We just had fun staying inside, getting to know each other on my couch.
Tara’s take: Girls should date gamers because a good video game challenge can add a fun spark to a relationship. Plus, gamers will do anything to save their princess!
And The Winner Is…
Bottom line: Everyone deserves a chance to be themselves and feel good about it. Nobody says that gamers are perfect, and the general consensus of women that date assholes has to be 10 to 1! So when the opportunity comes for a gamer and girls finally stop dating douchebags, the world will finally be a much better place.
All a gamer will have to do is just be themselves!
First of all, female gamers are hardly “fabled” and certainly not “unicorns”. And the more this stereotype is perpetuated, the more annoying it gets to those of us who are serious gamers and just happen to be female.
Secondly, out of all my male gamer friends, I think the last thing they’d want is a ditzy woman who obsesses over Twilight. The qualities that make male gamers appealing make female gamers appealing. Zappos hit the nail on the head — date people who share your interests.
I used to be part of a couple of all-female clans and I quit, because I firmly believe that more people who see women showing up on the servers and playing well, the sooner the sexist nonsense like this blog will be recognized for the bullshit it is.
” female gamers are hardly “fabled” and certainly not “unicorns”. And the more this stereotype is perpetuated, the more annoying it gets to those of us who are serious gamers and just happen to be female.”
To be fair, I think they realize that. There’s a lot of light-hearted sarcasm on this site. Also, they say that they aren’t unicorns…
I wasn’t trying to rag on the site. You shouldn’t judge based on one post, these guys are actually pretty funny and not stereotype perpetuating (if anything, they get the stereotypes and joke about them).
I was just trying to make the point that gaming doesn’t necessarily define people in general (although it can in some cases). Still, there’s merit to pointing out, as the article does, that not all male gamers share the same nerd stereotypes that the average person would find unfavorable… you know, like not showering.
You bring up a good point though, in that there’s the reverse stereotype that most girls aren’t gamers. That said — it’s not just the fault of the average geek for spreading that, there’s a lot of market analysis that says “women in general plan “x” type games (browser based stuff), and men play “y” type games.”
What we have here is a failure to communicate?
@Zappos
Thanks!
@amanda
Thanks for the feedback. I can tell you that the intent of this piece was simply to give a lighthearted look at the topic. Also, Zappos is correct, and our lead-in is doused in sarcasm (we, perhaps mistakenly, assume that our audience “gets it”). We don’t discount the fact that there are serious gamers who just happen to be female, as you put it — indeed, most activities are cross-cutting and don’t indicate a complete picture of a person.
That said, I do meet a lot of people who assume that because I spend an inordinate amount of time playing games that I’m unkempt, lazy, etcetera, so I think there is at least some merit to that observation, trivial as it may appear!
I’m like you, Amanda, I don’t see “men” or “women.”
Just people who are or are not on my to-be-strangled shit list.
Most guys worship the ground female gamers walk on.
I’m not saying it’s a correct stereotype, or even that you should desire it, but I don’t see it going away anytime soon. Men have a tendency to blow anything women do out of proportion. Sports is a good example.
Having said that, I can see where it would get annoying if I was constantly pegged as one type of gamer, but I’m not sure this article does that?
I don’t really agree with everything, but how is it sexist?
I’m a well-educated, well-adjusted woman who likes playing games, but even I can admit that the “average” girl, at least, young girl, probably fits the profile. But that’s with men and women. On average people probably enjoy stupid things… which is why Fox News and reality TV is so popular.
Competent people are the minority.
Also, she even said: “That’s not to say all girls are like that, I’m just speaking in terms of general perception.”
Considering that most people have pretty simple stereotypes of others, I’d say that’s just writing to a specific audience.
Sigh.
waste of time article wastes my time
talk about games
Plenty of other goofy shit about games to read on this site…
o_O
You said “socker”…
I loled when I figured it out.
PS Yer nasty; you got a dirty mouth.
Where’s the friggin’ controversy?
THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.
Also, I came over from Facebook to say that I’m in the third crowd. Just hungry.
This article was awesome and I would love to see more of these girls on the site! As for the whole thing yeah you should have hobbies you share with your significant other, and trust me most girls think the multiplayer on Flatout is great! They get to crash cars without the horrible consequences like death or tickets, some of my female friends love the game and have dubbed it “fling the guy”
Well. I’m an average-ish girl with a real good reason for not dating a gamer. I don’t care about the shallow stereotype stuff but what I’m really look for in a guy is someone who is willing to go out and have fun, someone with common interests. Which doesn’t work when the guy you’re into never wants to leave the house. Every gamer guy I’ve dated (and yes, I’ve tried) has spoken in internet memes or spent most of their time inside glued to a screen most of the day. I like the internet and all, but after spending a beautiful day outside. It’s just common sense, I don’t like cigarettes so I don’t date smokers and I don’t care for video games so why date a gamer?
At least you tried
I’ve had the same experience, to some degree, but I guess I just got lucky finding a guy who likes to game but doesn’t have an “addiction” and is willing to go outside.
I guess you just have to approach the question with a reasonable attitude. Maybe the title of the article is worded poorly — instead of “why more girls should date gamers,” maybe “why gamers aren’t all stereotypes.” That seems to be what it’s really getting at.
I hear you on internet memes though. That gets old real quick when you’re trying to have a real conversation with someone.